3 Poems by Amanda Pendley
major motion picture in silhouettes
we stand as a feature film
in front of the projected screen
and think of how easy it is to be
close in shadow
how the colored in outlines shy
into an anonymous letter sealed
and mailed shut with four stamps
for the extra weight
the heart is heavy when it weeps
in full daylight
I’d like to forget I was ever there,
to see myself as one-dimensional
I’d like to forget that you liked me better
that way
emergence
there was a tent in a backyard instead of a forest
and there was what it meant to be trapped in your own body
lock on the outside zipper
air would run out
leaving us to punch open the fabric
or gnaw through it with our teeth
I know how my organs feel
a constant game of pinball
of baby’s feet kicking
or of exorcisms coming from the stomach
I want to know how I felt inside the womb
if it was red glow
and flashlights
and hushed voices
and curling into each other
and growing so big
stretching limbs so that they could attempt
to stretch straight
I wonder if either of those nights
was when I came out for the first time
fall back down to earth
there is just enough of us left
to soak our feet when we walk into the shallows
there is enough sun glinting on the water
whispering to you through the wind
while it is screaming at me
I can read in the dark
but I cannot for the life of me look
into the air
the light is too loud
and I am blinded by how much
I want you to be waiting
nose to nose
with out of focus freckles
when my vision clears
but you were what the wind took away
instead of what it blew in
you and leaving have always been the closest of friends
I can still see you sometimes if I squint
up on the cliff top
not any taller than my pointer and middle finger
held a centimeter apart in front of the eye
some telescope that must be
because when you jumped I could’ve sworn
you had wings
but I was mistaken
you still have a long way down to go
Amanda Pendley is a twenty-year-old writer from Kansas City who is currently studying Creative Writing and Publishing at the University of Iowa. She is currently Editor-in-Chief of Ink Lit Mag, Copyeditor at Haloscope Magazine, and a Staff Writer at The Honey Mag. Her recent and forthcoming publications include Savant Garde Literary Magazine, Storm of Blue Press, Ghost City Review, and Dream Noir Literary Journal. She often finds inspiration in Lorde songs, movement, and the wonders of midwestern peculiarities. You can find her on social media under the username amandacpendley.